imagine not seeing any results. imagine doing something with all the faith in you, WITH ALL THE PASSION IN YOUR BONES. imagine hoping for change and nothing shifts. imagine praying with much faith, taking major leaps into the unknown and not even the russle of a single leaf. one month, two months, three. months turning into years and years into decades. what hope would remain in me? would i stop hoping? would i simply bury my dreams in the sand? Frankly i have no idea what lies ahead. clueless. the only thing i am certain about is the fact that he is with me always, watching me stumble and get up again. i know he is there when all i taste is bitterness. he is there when i am absolutely numb. he is with me when i am frozen and full of fear. he is with me when i experience the beauty and wonder of his creation.

i will probably experience much pain and disappointment in this life. will probably shed a million tears. have my heart broken, and guess what, he will be with me. i will experience much joy, sunshine, sunflowers, mountains(kilimonjaro), lady bugs, elephants and those experiences will be fantastical because he will be with me.

i find that at times christians, i include myself a billion times infinity, do not know how to press in, we have forgotten how to awaken the dawn and instead we hide away in the dark and in our fears. sometimes i just do not know how to live through the winter. i forget that winter may not be like spring but it still possesses much beauty.

there may be no change tomorrow, or even the next day, week or month. maybe i will be praying the same prayers twenty years from now, wording them differently just to make things more exciting. he does not give up on me, therefore i cannot help but place all my eggs in his basket. he is the king of my heart, my song, my everything.

i will be on my knees, yes i will lose hope at times, but i will always find it because hope is ever present.